Global Domination

GD's verdicts - Best of 2013: sly

29/12/13  ||  sly

1. Cultes des Ghoules: Henbane

I’ve been obsessed with this album for the last couple months. There have been weeks where Monday through Friday I stick the black cassette tape in my Walkman and head out the door to face the shitty world. “Henbane” is the perfect soundtrack for taking an early morning metro full of noisy assholes or buying groceries in a store that plays only the worst assortment of pop.

Few bands live up to adjectives like ritualistic, atmospheric, or dark. This one does. They’ve managed to create an aural experience that is mesmerizing and soothing while at the same time stimulating and inciteful. It puts me in a meditative trance but I am still fully functional when navigating my way through the busy Parisian underground. But one of the best elements is the stealthy tempo changes. Out of seemingly nowhere I find myself possessed by a minimal yet trenchant riff that incites my hatred for all the iPhone-brained, fashion-propelled, useless, rotting cattle who surround me.

Regardless of the genre, vocals can make or break the final outcome. This diverse array of well-executed vocals serve to enhance the perfectly balanced compositions which capture the essence of true black metal.

Recommended song: Fuck this. It’s an album, not a Katy Perry single.

2. Primitive Man: Scorn

Too many bands in the crustysludgedoom scene are nothing but one-trick ponies. They take their favourite riff from the band displayed on their back patch and base their entire musical careers off of recreating (rehashing) said riff ad nauseam.

While Primitive Man haven’t exactly broken new ground it’s refreshing to hear a band that isn’t just a pale imitation of Eyehategod or Noothgrush. These guys aren’t afraid to experiment with various speeds, dissonant riffs, and noise.

More reminiscent of Man is the Bastard or a slowed down version of Brutal Truth. Pleasantly akin to the old Relapse bands from the late ’90s.

3. Clutch: Earth Rocker

Unsurprisingly, Clutch’s new album delivers the goods. Fuck the trends. This is true rock. All the bell bottom-wearing, pot-smoking, supposed devil worshipers who work hard to look the part in order to cover up their inability to play well will eventually fall to the wayside, but Neil Fallon will still be writing excellent lyrics for high-quality music and not giving a fuck about what the scene jerks think. Yeah, we like Howlin’ Wolf and Captain Beefheart, we can play the blues, and we sing about the Daleks. And we put the rest of you to shame.

4. Wolvserpent: Perigaea Antahkarana

From their inception Wolvserpent have been in a league of their own. But how to describe that league is another matter entirely.

At times it’s ethereal and escapist, at other times it’s despairingly mortal and terrestrial, while all the time a sacred ceremony glorifying the natural world.

Perigaea Antahkarana is a paean to the escape from dismal American urbanism back to the eeriness of our primal origins.

This album really demands concentration (which requires brains). It’s not simply background noise nor is it yer basic Joe Potato schmetal. Reminiscent of Shinjuku Thief and Arthur Machen.

5. Oranssi Pazuzu: Valonielu

Oranssi Pazuzu brings a rather unique sound to black metal with a hauntingly psychedelic side. “Valonielu” is their third album, brought to us in very beautiful packaging, from the forest green record to the wonderfully trippy artwork.

It’s a peculiar blend of cold, harsh Finnish black metal and warm, earthy analogue krautrock which carries you to a realm caught between the cosmos and a dark forest.

In other words, these guys shit all over shoegaze and post-yourmomsbutt USBM hipster bullshit.

CLOSE BUT NO BANANA:

Fiend: Onerous

The second offering from this Paris-based psychstonerdoomprogressiveheavymetal band is an amalgam of hypnotizing lyrics, compelling riffs, and soaring vocals. “Onerous” stands up best as an album, but once you hear Broken Ships of Osiris it won’t soon leave you.

Gehenna: Unravel

Norwegian black metal with tons of atmosphere. The perfect soundtrack for the desolate ruins of cities annihilated by bird flu.

Immolation: Kingdom of Conspiracy

It’s Immolation. It’s perfect for what they do. The best death metal release of the year.

Autarcie: Groupuscule

The “2000 Maniacs” or “Deliverance” of French black metal bands. Spiteful, chauvinistic, and terrifyingly insular.

Shitfucker: Suck Cocks in Hell

As the brilliant David St. Hubbins once put it, “It’s such a fine line between stupid and uh… clever.”

MY BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF THE YEAR:

Blood Ceremony: The Eldritch Dark

Even though the first two albums didn’t throw me on my ass, I really enjoyed them. But this time round it’s disappointment galore. Alia O’Brien was never a strong vocalist but for this album she actually changed her voice to an irritatingly nasal version of Sandy Denny. “Hey Alia, how about you pretend your nose is your mouth and see how that works out for you.” They’ve been emulating their beloved ’70s folk rock groups for so long that they must have forgotten that most of those bands put out really boring albums after their second or third.

Black Sabbath: 13

Okay, so we weren’t expecting much, but surely we were expecting more than this uninspired, lackluster offering coupled with the most sterile of production. The moment old Ozzfart poses the catchpenny question “Is this the end of the beginning? Or the beginning of the end?” you know the answer: it’s just the end, dude. Curiously, the new songs hold up pretty well live, so how did they manage to make the record so somniferous?